Good ‘ol Jim Ross welcomed us to the show.

John Morrison and Miz came down to the ring looking pretty PO’d. Morrison hushed the crowd to a loud chorus of boos. Miz then explained that the only reason Evan Bourne won last week was because of help from his “bromance” with Ricky Ortiz. They both ripped on Ortiz’s hair, and said they should be main eventing PPV’s, not wrestling bums.

Teddy Long then came out and told them that the new talent in ECW has been good, but Morrison cut him off and buried Braden Walker, seriously, this ruled. The segment ended up with Morrison and Miz asking to face Ortiz and Bourne, but Bourne wasn’t at the show, so Miz and Morrison were made to fight each other tonight with the winner facing Ortiz right after their match.

They showed a recap of Kane vs. Evan Bourne from Raw.

Teddy Long and Ortiz were talking about stuff backstage; Tiffany came in and flirted with Ortiz. Now, here is something that needs to happen. Teddy Long gets jealous about Tiffany liking Ortiz, so he goes all heel on Ortiz and buries him every week.

Finlay was out to face Bam Neely – minus Chavo Guerrero. Finlay dominated most of the match early on, they did a comedy spot where Bam was pushed by Finlay and tripped over Hornswoggle. Neely eventually got some offense in and beat on Finlay on the outside, Finlay was kicked right into the steps.

Finlay did mount some comeback but it was cut off when he tried a dropkick from the second rope and Neely caught him. Bam then quickly turned Finlay into a Boston Crab. Hornswoggle was teasing pushing the stick to Finlay, as soon as Neely saw this, he released the hold and threw Hornswoggle across the ring. Something about seeing a midget go flying and then crashing and burning makes me mark out. Finlay killed Neely with the stick behind the refs back for the win. Remarkably, I thought this was a good match; easily the best Bam Neely has ever looked.

There was an ad for No Mercy which centred around the Ladder Match. Now I wasn’t planning on buying the show on Sky Box Office, but this ad was pretty badass, and I do really want to see that match, especially after this ad.

There was another ad shortly after this, and it was WWE 24/7 (which we totally need in the UK). It showed Hogan & Piper vs. Sid & Flair from 1992 in MSG, the whole thing was set to epic music. Maybe we’ll get this match on Vintage Collection this week.

MARYSE~! is out. Gawd Almighty is this woman hot, it’s between her and Kelly Kelly for the hottest woman in wrestling at the moment. She was wrestling Michelle ‘I only have this belt because I’m banging Undertaker’ McCool. Sexy Maryse won, and they had an ok match for the Divas standards, but jesus was Maryse hot.

Mark Henry came out to cut a promo, he basically said that he’ll win at No Mercy and leave Matt Hardy broken.

Mike Knox came out to kill Chase Stevens. Why Chase Stevens is here again I don’t know. Knox stiffed the dude and it ruled. I may be one of the 4 people in this world that likes Knox, but hey, the dude has improved a lot since 2006. Knox also has one of the best beards in wrestling history.

Post-match, the all American American Jack Swagger came down and gave Stevens a doctor bomb ala Steve Williams. Good god, I just had another idea, Steve Williams should return and be Swagger’s coach. Dreamer came down, don’t ask me why, and tried to make the save. Knox then came back down the ramp and distracted Dreamer, thus allowing Swagger to hit the Doctor Bomb. I must say, the Doctor Bomb is an impressive move.

It was main event time, and Miz and Morrison went to a double count out when both men couldn’t answer the ten count. They traded pin falls early on, and eventually Miz got the heat. It was slow at times, but when you’re feuding with Ortiz, I know I wouldn’t care to go all out. It picked up towards the end, but as mentioned earlier, the match ended in a double count out.

After the match, Ortiz came out and gave his stupid splash to both men. NO BUYS.

I read the spoilers before watching the show and dreaded watching this show. In fairness, it wasn’t as awful as it read. The whole Ortiz push still baffles me, and quite frankly, I haven’t hated a wrestler more than I hate Ricky Ortiz.

I have no idea why Matt Hardy wasn’t on the show. JR and Striker were great together; hopefully Striker is in the announcing gig for a long time. All that is needed now is to replace Jerry Lawler with JBL and then you’re all set as far as announcing teams go.

Steve McLaren
steve@ifight365.com