For those of us who grew up watching the wacky world of pro wrestling as young, smelly urchins, we all have our own individual memories. We all have our favourite moments and wrestlers, I mean…”superstars” from the past. But one of the guys that we all seem to share a special place in our dank, seedy memories for, is The Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase.

Yes indeed, Sir, the holder of the Million Dollar Title. The boss of beloved and put-upon chauffeur, Virgil, manipulator of genuinely loved legend, Andre the Giant and the long-time nemesis of everyone’s favourite flasher, Jake Roberts.

Ted’s been off screens, for the most part, for a long, long time. He left the WWE way back in 1993, when injuries and life on the road took their toll on his body and he desperately needed a change in lifestyle.

Retiring from active competition not much later, he was to return to the Federation as a manager, as well as guest commentator in 1996. But, aside from special appearances (at WrestleMania, in backstage skits etc), he’s never returned to our screens as a regular figure.

Thus, the announcement of his autobiography was much anticipated for a man whom had much influence (talk to any wrestler who grew up on 80’s grappling, and this guy is a major, major part of their education) and yet who’s story had not been told first hand.

If, like me, you fell into the excitable, hyped-up camp, you may wish to prepare yourself for disappointment.

Ted’s book (or Teddy as he was referred to by those close) is a slender volume at less than 250 pages and consists of a rather a BIG font that ensures what is there is somewhat padded out. Additionally, the body of the text is continually interrupted for the inclusion of quotes from friends and family members. These are very much worthwhile though and sometimes more revealing than DiBiase words.

However, that there is so, so many of them underlines the fact that the story of Ted DiBiase is told here in very much an abbreviated form.

It’s also worth pointing out, though it’s not really a criticism, that the book is missing a colour photo section in the middle. Obviously, I didn’t think of this as a problem as such, but it is strange, because the WWE books always feature such a section. And c’mon, who wouldn’t pick up this book and be excited to see a few snaps of The Million Dollar Man in his prime?

DiBiase starts out, interestingly, with his retirement as a wrestler. Wrestlers have a tendency to begin (especially after Mick Foley’s first book, Have a Nice Day) with a chapter devoted to their favourite match, or a defining moment in their careers. But here, we get what most would regard as their darkest hour - when they realise it’s time to hang up the tights.

The tone isn’t of feeling sorry for oneself either, it’s merely straight to-the-point and matter of fact. The humble aura serves the book well in fact, throughout, being one of DBase’s strong points.

After this brief chapter, DiBiase does then takes us to his finest moment and his most fondly remembered storyline - when Andre the Giant won the WWE title from Hulk Hogan and The Million Dollar Man bought the strap for himself.

Back in the day, this was a tremendously shocking development, especially as the Million Dollar Man was a recent addition to the company. Fans were shocked and outraged at this newcomer and the angle bolstered him into main-eventdom immediately. It also provided the genesis for Andre the Giant being able to turn face again.

Of course, as we all know, the storyline had Ted stripped of the title, declaring the change void. He held the belt up until WrestleMania 4 (in Trump Plaza, where Randy Savage took the gold in a tournament final against DiBiase). Ingenious storyline that was and recalling it is a thrill.

The 100 pages or so that follow are probably my favourite part of the book.

Far from obsessed with wrestling, DiBiase seems to buck the trend of valuing this one part of his life over all others and recaps his youth fondly. There’s much more to this segement of his story than grappling, though obviously with “Iron” Mike DiBiase being his father, it’s a huge part. The chapter dealing with his father’s death is especially well written and tough stuff to get through. But in general, the tales of his early days are exuberant, lively and give what appears to be an honest, open insight into the person behind the gimmick.

The coverage of DiBiase’s work in Japan is staggeringly weak though. He recounts his entire first tour of Japan in less than two pages and later on only briefly alludes to his successes in that country, saying: “I was probably going to Japan two or three times a year. I was making a name for myself and Giant Baba really took care of me. I was also getting a major boost.”

And that’s pretty much that for this frustratingly fascinating part of his career.

It’s probably best to observe that this book is no expose either. If you come in search of juicy backstage gossip, rumours and Ring of Hell style sensationalism, you’ll be extremely disappointed.

In fact, for anyone who has followed the career of Ted DiBiase in any depth, or for a long duration, there’s little here that will probably come across as new.

Also an issue is the litany of minor errors that nonetheless combine regularly enough to be pretty damn irritating.

“The ending of the King of the Ring tournament was quite spectacular. They crowned two kings, Bret Hart and Lex Luger, because they both landed on the floor simultaneously.”

Obviously, this is nonsense, as he’s actually referring to the Royal Rumble in 1994, which he actually states in the previous paragraph. Thus, this strikes me as a case of being something the ghost writer got wrong in his research.

The concern there is, how much of this is DiBiase and how much is Tom Caizazzo, the “other” guy?

At another point, while discussing Bill Goldberg (the two met during DiBiase’s late Nineties WCW run) we’re told: “He (Goldberg) held numerous titles, including the Heavyweight Championship for about three months back in 1993.”

Err, no. He did raise the World title from Triple H, in September 2003, which he held until that December. The inaccuracy is so crazy and obvious though, it becomes another example of the aforementioned unease.

Another problem with the bulk of this tome is Ted’s forgiving attitude. He comes across as a really nice, decent, considerate guy. However on occasions were he mentions certain subjects, his nice-guy attitude is sometimes a detriment.

At one point, he talks about how pissed he was when he learned in the mid-nineties that Vince wanted him to manage Sid. Ted had a problem with this over the infamous Arn Anderson “stabbing” incident, as Arn was a close friend. That Ted put this behind him is a mark of his generous personality. However, here, he makes no effort to explain why. In fact, on the next page, he sings Sid’s praises!

This could have been really fascinating stuff. How did Vince sway him? Did he find an alternate story as to what happened between the two WCW stars? We’re in the dark.

But, in spite of these weaknesses and flaws, The Million Dollar Man is a very enjoyable read. It’s simple, digestible and covers a subject that most of us genuinely love. DiBiase is clearly no writer and it shows with further ambiguity over just how much the ghost writer contributed.

But he still inspires as an open and genuine dude. And he had a truly glittering career in the WWE.

If this book were a big gold, championship belt, it certainly wouldn’t be the Million Dollar strap. More like a replica of the US title. That said, it’s still worth buying, but only if you can pick it up for a nice low price.

Thanks for taking the time to check this out. I welcome any and all feedback and I can be contacted at www.myspace.com/michaelwrestlingetc or simply by emailing me at Michael@ifight365.com I look forward to hearing from you, and will be back soon!