And here we go. Country Music Television hooked up with Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff and Jason Hervey in producing a new reality-show in which celebrities train to become professional wrestlers. Why CMT and not VH1 is beyond me, but I guess that’s the way it ended up having to be. Hogan will also serve as primary host as well as one of the three judges. Bischoff will also be one of the judges as well as assigning the celebrities which three moves they need to learn and incorporate before the next match. The third judge is Jimmy Hart.

The contestants are Danny Bonaduce (”The Patridge Family”), Todd Bridges (”Diff’rent Strokes”), Butterbean (Super-Heavyweight boxer and mixed martial arts fighter), Trishelle Cannatella (MTV’s “The Real World”), Dustin Diamond (”Saved By the Bell”), Erin Murphy (”Bewitched”), Dennis Rodman (basketball player and one-time wrestler), Frank Stallone (actor and singer), Tiffany (teen pop singer), and Nikki Ziering (Playboy playmate). The opening illustrations in which each contestant looks absolutely ripped is wonderfully hilarious. This is already one of the best wrestling shows ever.

All ten contestants come into the ring before Eric and Jimmy do. Eric summarizes what they expect to accomplish with the show before bringing the big man out. Hogan brings with him the CCW Championship belt, which looks tons better than the WWE Divas Championship. Bonaduce notes that seeing the belt makes him want it even more. Hogan than introduces the head trainers, Nasty Boy Brian Knobbs and Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake. Knobbs is as overweight as ever, Beefcake doesn’t look too shabby.

The contestants are split into two teams, each headed by one of the trainers. Team Nasty consists of Dustin, Erin, Dennis, Frank, and Nikki. Team Beefcake consists of Danny, Todd, Butterbean, Trishelle, and Tiffany. They are also assigned team colors, Nasty with Red and Beefcake with Blue. Bischoff then announces the three moves they are to learn and incorporate into their matches the next night. Kick to the mid section, forearm smash, clothesline. The two trainers demonstrate the moves, much to the horror of the girls, before the teams set off on their training.

Obviously the celebrities have to do more than just the three moves, otherwise the matches would be complete catastrophes. They learn the basics of bumping and constructing a wrestling match before getting into learning the moves themselves. And since they only have one day to learn everything, it’s only going to make things that much more difficult.

So Tom Howard and a couple other Ultimate Pro Wrestling trainers are on hand to help out. Dennis obviously knows more about wrestling then everyone else, but both Danny and Dustin manage to pick up quickly on both learning the moves and the showman aspect. Most of the girls are completely flabbergasted over what they just got themselves into.

The trainers then assign the roles for the next night’s matches. Going up first, Team Beefcake will have Butterbean and Trishelle as faces against Danny and Tiffany as heels with Todd in their corner playing manager. Team Nasty will have Dennis and Erin as faces against Dustin and Frank as heels with Nikki in their corner. It’s show time and the celebrities find themselves having to perform not just before the judges, but also a rather packed crowd of curious wrestling fans. Bubba the Love Sponge serves as commentator, only he completely breaksdown the kayfabe portion of announcing.

Team Beefcake gets things rolling. As noted, Danny picked up on the basics of wrestling very quickly and is already getting the crowd to hate his guts. Butterbean has a great aura to him, making his job as face a little bit easier. We find in the match that Todd clearly had no indea how to play manager and Tiffany is having a great deal of trouble performing the moves at all.

Trishelle does okay, only it’s apparent that she’s better suited as a heel. All three moves are used and the faces get the victory when Butterbean hits a forward splash slam on Danny for the win. That had to hurt. After the bell, Todd manages to do something by running in there to attack the faces, but is cut off by Trishelle and forced to flee.

During the matches, the judges are seen taking notes and expressing their approval or disapproval. They obviously like Danny, Butterbean has the presence, everyone else needs a lot of work.

Team Nasty are in. Once again, Dustin shows off that he’s picked up the basics very quickly and is getting the crowd to shower him with boos. Dennis plays the cocky face role, which suits him quite well. Both Erin and Frank find themselves just trying to remember what they’re supposed to do and when to do them. Nikki is doing absolutely nothing, just like Todd did in the match before.

The match comes off a little more polished, or as polished as celebrities with one day’s worth of training could make it, before Dennis finishes off Frank with a clothesline from the top rope for the win. Nikki tries something, but ends up just disappearing for the most part.

With the matches over, all the celebrities are called to the ring for elimination. Hogan announces that both teams did good, but Team Nasty performed the best and are therefore safe from elimination. Team Nasty are instructed to return to the back while Team Beefcake finds out which one of them is eliminated. Hogan gives praise to Danny and Butterbean, who are both safe and instructed to go to the back. Trishelle is told that she’s got some work to do, but is nevertheless safe. After she heads to the back, Todd and Tiffany remain. None of the judges were impressed with their performances.

Hogan finally announces that Tiffany is a jabroni and orders her to get the hell out of his ring.

Tiffany takes the elimination somewhat in stride, okay with the fact that at least she was able to do something she didn’t think she would be able to do. Todd breathes a sigh of relief and notes that he is determined to improve and stay in the hunt.

Highlights of next week promise the celebrities will face a gut check challenge and during training someone takes a bad tumble.

Overview: The show is what it is. Celebrities learning how to become professional wrestlers. As I noted above, some of the guys have it, most everyone else don’t. Danny and Dustin are the guys to watch, in my opinion, as they managed to capture the showman aspect of wrestling and work it down to an art. And given that the majority of the celebrities are actors, that’s something they should all be able to pick up on as the show progresses.

Dennis, having more wrestling experience, obviously is the one to beat while Butterbean projects the kind of aura that is just right for wrestling. They all have a lot of work to do and they’re forced to do it with little time, so the matches were definitely going to suffer in the quality department. Still, it’s entertaining as hell to watch these guys discover firsthand just how difficult it is to be a wrestler.

Episode Verdict: Thumbs Up

Dan Short
dan@ifight365.com