Anyone seen the 1980 Billy Freidkin film, “Cruising”, starring Al Pacino? Oh you know which one…Al plays a rookie cop given an opportunity to Brock Lesnar it to the top. In this case, he is assigned to an undercover role within the Gay S&M community in New York, to attempt to ensnare a Serial Killer. It’s a seedy, nasty little film.

But hey, what relevance does this have to the Grap-game you ask? Well, as the first murder transpires, the camera pans along the foot of the bed, where two dudes have been enjoying some leather-booted fun and we see their Porn stash.

And what does it consist of? Yeps, wrestling magazines of the 70’s, including the very first issue of Pro-Wrestling Illustrated!

That has nothing to do with Cyber Sunday by the way, but I do think that the few seconds of Wrestling goodness in that film are a billion times more exciting than Cyber Sunday, which makes me feel nauseous. As in, typing this right now, I’m having to forcibly control the chunks that are propelling themselves up along the human river of my throat.

It will take a small miracle for Cyber Sunday to emerge as anything other than a hopeless waste of time. It’s such an unappealing prospect, that I’m up for actively encouraging you not to buy it. Seriously.. .why bother?

What are we going to get with this PPV?

- A couple of World title matches, where there’s no chance a title will change hands (further details in our PPV Preview ahead of the show, from myself, Mark Bright, and Phil Lowe will be up on the site later today). Therefore, if you want to see the same title bouts that have any uncertainty or excitement, you can just wait for the next PPV.

- Several matches that are nothing new whatsoever. Kane/Rey, Undertaker/Big Show, Hunter/Jeff and Jericho/Batista – all encounters I’ve seen a million times before.

- A faux “it’s in your hands” philosophy, where it isn’t really. Storylines are geared towards making the less discerning viewers having only one real “option” as to what to pick, with alternatives being safe, dull choices.

- A lower standard in quality of action. The workers are booked against certain opponents for the PPV (or at least, have been in the past), regardless of how you vote. So if you don’t vote for what the federation want, you’ll end up with matches that feature guys who weren’t especially prepared to work together.

The WWE are absolutely desperate to push Kozlov as Smackdown’s top heel. Why? I have no idea. His range is limited, his character not especially over and his heat of the cheap, flag-waving variety. Sorry, this isn’t 1988, it’s 2008, and I couldn’t care less.

Maybe intolerant hatred of foreigners is still popular in the U.S (though Smackdown’s ratings would certainly indicate this isn’t the case), but it isn’t relevant to me, or my viewing habits.

There are other, more suitable candidates for feuds with the WWE Champion. Edge is due back soon. A lot of people mentioned MVP for this role. Big Show’s decent. Fuck, Bryan Kendrick can work a match and since this PPV will draw about twelve viewers, why not have him get a shot?

And if they’re short of heels on the brand…it’s there own fault! They made the draff and they pick the wrestlers.

However, a one-on-one match between Jeff and Hunter is an even worse option for fans to go with. If Jeff loses, that’s another one on the scoreboard and suddenly his getting closer every time could be threatened (there’s only so many times you can pull the trigger without releasing it, before the momentum dissipates). If he wins, either in a singles, or a triple threat, it’s a HORRIBLE situation in which to raise your first belt.

No win either way then for one of the company’s hottest Babyfaces.

Speaking of heat, Kane has none. Hence his feud with Rey has been a mind-bogglingly dull box of non-tricks. Boo. Some of there daft in-ring exchanges have been utterly terrible and it’s really time to get out of this feud.

Logically, the less time they spend in the ring together, the more believable their matches are, so of course the WWE are trying to nudge us towards voting for a 2/3 falls match – which only gets over if it goes a long period of time!

Undertaker’s encounters with the Big Show have been pretty solid. But so have many of the battles they waged since 1999. A lot of those were freebies on television too…

Jericho’s tussle with Batista should be the most heated with the live crowd, thanks to the heat magnet that Mongoose McQueen has proved to be lately, in addition to the special guest referee. But the downside is, that it makes sense to include Michaels, but if you don’t vote for Austin, the biggest star of the last twenty years in the entire business looks like a complete tool.

Cyber Sunday is an annual event that really struggles to earn a good buyrate, so wouldn’t you want to guarantee the use of both Shawn Michaels and Steve Austin? Sure, they’ll probably both be involved in some capacity – but not to the degree that prompts people to actually watch the show!

Of course, they could exceed expectations and provide a great show – this has been a consistent occurrence in almost all the PPV’s since WrestleMania 24. It’s certainly a possibility. But it doesn’t matter a damn how good it is, if nobody is watching. My incessant ranting of late about the WWE’s product is not necessarily as a result of poor output (though Raw has been crap, Smackdown NEEDS Edge and ECW, is well, ECW), because I’ve enjoyed the PPV’s more often than not, but because of their lack of appeal. I’d love to be really excited for not even an entire card, but at least more than one or two matches.

Way less than 200,000 buys, Wait and see…

Thanks for taking the time to check this out. I welcome any and all feedback and I can be contacted at www.myspace.com/michaelwrestlingetc or simply by emailing me at Michael@ifight365.com. I look forward to hearing from you, and will be back soon!