The Big News: Vince McMahon returned, but it doesn’t look like he’ll be back next week.

Show Analysis:

Randy Orton won a six man battle royal over Ted DiBiase, Cody Rhodes, Kofi Kingston, Kane and Santino Marella. Santino thought he was on the same side as the Legacy, but they dumped him. They then took out Kofi. Kane sent Rhodes and DiBiase over the top rope, but DiBiase landed on the apron. Kane then went to eliminate Orton, but DiBiase took out Kane from behind and tumbled out with Kane. That made Orton the winner. This was a weird start to the show. I guess the idea was to get over that the Legacy may be a dangerous team in the Royal Rumble, but the match was so short and obviously stacked in their favor that it didn’t really serve that purpose.

Beth Phoenix beat Kelly Kelly in a brief squash with the glam slam. Randy Orton backstage then told DiBiase that if Orton wins, they all win. Rhodes said that there was a problem. Sim Snuka and Manu were in Stephanie McMahon’s office earlier and the rumor was that Stephanie was going to fire Orton. I heard that one too on MMA Bay. Backstage, Santino presented Rosa Mendes as a gift to Beth. He said that she would be an intern for them. An excited Rosa said she wants to learn from Beth and that she’ll do whatever Beth says. Santino comically closed, “Please? Can we keep her?”

Randy Orton met with Stone Cold Stephanie McMahon backstage. Stephanie said she wouldn’t fire Orton, and told him to stop sucking up to her and get out of her office. Orton said that he wasn’t worried and if anything Stephanie should be worried about Vince. Orton added that nobody respects Stephanie, she only has her job because she’s Vince’s daughter, everyone laughs about her behind her back and if her last name wasn’t McMahon she would be a complete nobody. Stephanie slapped him and starred him down.

Why in the world is Stephanie McMahon of all people standing up to Randy Orton, completely unintimidated by him? What possible good does it accomplish, other than soothing her insecurity and arrogance? He is a 245 pound WrestleMania main event heel and she is a 135 pound female non-wrestler. Getting him over as a threat will help draw money. Getting her over as a threat will draw none. There’s absolutely no justification for this pathetic, nepotistic nonsense.

CM Punk beat William Regal to win the Intercontinental Title. Punk hit some kicks, sent Regal into the post and scored with a snap suplex. Regal retaliated by supposedly kicking Punk’s head full on into the ring post. To me, it’s pretty hard to suspend disbelief on that one. Regal and Punk traded kicks and punches. Punk hit a high kick and high knee. Regal responded with an exploder. Punk missed a crossbody off the top but quickly followed by getting Regal up for the GTS. Regal tried to fight out with elbows, but Punk hit it anyway for the pin. This was a fun match and the hot crowd really helped. Delaying the title switch until Punk’s hometown paid off.

Next up was a contract signing for JBL vs. John Cena. Shawn Michaels came out with JBL. JBL said that Cena’s title run is almost over. Cena called JBL a scumbag, and said he wanted to talk to Michaels. JBL responded that this was about him and talking about Michaels was just Cena making excuses in advance. Cena put over Michaels and said he shouldn’t be JBL’s puppet. JBL said Michaels is an employee, and Michaels will collect what is important to him: a large paycheck, not Cena’s opinion.

Michaels at this point grabbed the microphone and told JBL to shut up. Michaels said it makes him sick to take money from JBL, but he does it and will continue to do so. He told Cena that he is not a kid any more and he has obligations and pressures that Cena can’t understand. Michaels talked about his wife and children, and said that Cena doesn’t know him. Michaels said that people can judge but he will do what he has to do. Cena said he doesn’t believe Michaels and that when the chips are down Michaels won’t help JBL. Michaels then grabbed Cena and JBL hit Cena from behind. Michaels went for sweet chin music but missed, and JBL landed a big boot and clothesline from hell on Cena.

Overall, I liked this angle. However, I liked the first part a lot better than the second. Michaels looking sad and JBL doing all the talking works well. But Michaels’ rant made me dislike him. Michaels crying about not being able to support his family on a main event wrestler’s salary is just obnoxious. His character is Latrell Sprewell, not Bob Cratchit.

Rey Mysterio beat Mike Knox via DQ. Prior to the match, Knox said that he doesn’t have a reason for repeatedly attacking Rey. This was another really brief match. Rey hit a huracanrana and went for the 619 but Knox caught him. Knox used a slingshot to send Rey into the ropes and repeatedly stomped, kneed and punched Rey in the corner until the referee called for a DQ. I usually don’t like this type of finish, but I thought it worked here. Knox was bleeding from the mouth, and laid out Rey with the Knox out. Chris Jericho was in Stephanie’s office backstage. Stephanie told him to leave, but Jericho said Vince was going to allow him to plead his case.

Cryme Tyme beat Miz and John Morrison to earn a tag title shot. If Miz and Morrison won, Cryme Tyme would leave them alone for good. Shad scored the pin with the STO. This was one of those matches that are so unbelievably short it just makes matches feel like pointless contrivances. Raw has had way too many two minute matches in recent weeks.

Mickie James and Cody Rhodes spoke backstage. Cody didn’t want to listen to her advice. Goldust approached Cody. He had advice for Cody: to watch the WWE’s Starrcade DVD collection. He said Cody would learn a lot from the legends. Cody said that he has heard this has Dustin Rhodes vs. Steve Austin. He then gave back the DVD and said he planned to live up to his talent unlike Dustin. He added that when they make the Cody Rhodes DVD he will send Goldust and Dusty the DVD. This was a good segment and effective product placement as well.

Melina beat Jillian Hall. Jillian attacked Melina with punches and a side slam. Melina then hit the last call (and I think Melina should consider getting a better looking finisher) for the pin. Santino, Beth and Rosa came to ringside. Santino whispered something to Rosa, and she ran into the ring and attacked Melina. Beth came in and laid out Melina with the glam slam. Dolph Ziggler and Candice Michelle were speaking backstage when Vince McMahon arrived. Dolph went to introduce himself but couldn’t remember his name. Wow, they actually found a way to pay off that gimmick.

Vince McMahon came out for the final segment of the show. He immediately brought out Chris Jericho. Jericho asked to be brought back and put in the Royal Rumble. Vince then brought out Stephanie McMahon. Vince said he wouldn’t reinstate Jericho, and that he would run Raw together with Stephanie. He asked Stephanie if she wanted to give Jericho a second chance. Stephanie wanted an apology. Jericho apologized three times to Stephanie and once on his knees to the fans. Stephanie reinstated him.

Randy Orton then came out and said he’s owed an apology by Stephanie. Orton pointed out people pay to see him and not Stephanie. Orton said since Stephanie popped out a couple grandchildren she has become worthless. Vince escorted an angry Stephanie out of the ring. Vince then told Orton he made Randy and his father and told Orton to apologize or he would terminate Orton on the spot. Randy told Vince that Vince didn’t want to do that. Vince was going to fire Orton, but Randy slapped him, kicked him in the head and punted him. Orton then acted like he was scared by what he did while Stephanie shrieked.

Final Thoughts:

I know a lot of people like the McMahons as performers, but I typically dread their appearances. It has nothing to do with their performances, but rather the way they are portrayed. Wrestling is fundamentally about building up wrestlers and then getting fans interested in seeing them collide. The McMahons almost always hinder this goal, because shows are built around their self-aggrandizement even if it weakens the top wrestlers who are expected to carry the product.

This week was the perfect example. Two of the top three heels on Raw are Chris Jericho and Randy Orton. Jericho’s character can get away with being humbled, but if he is going to lose his heat, he should be losing it to the top faces, not to Stephanie McMahon. Then there is Orton, who is supposed to be this ultimate evil diabolical heel, but who Stephanie and her 63-year-old father aren’t concerned by in the least. Orton was significantly more afraid about what they would do to him for attacking Vince than they were of this guy who is concussing and laying out people left and right.

Raw left you with the impression that Vince and Stephanie are the real stars of the show. They are the ones who call the shots. They are the ones who control the main event wrestlers. And what purpose does this serve, other than to feed their egos?

As for the show on the whole, it was another mixed bag. I think as a general rule on Raw lately the build has been good, the talk hit and miss, and the wrestling underemphasized.

I will be interested to see the Royal Rumble buy rate. The Rumble itself always helps a lot, but I don’t have a lot of interest in this show. The buildup has been fine, but there isn’t anything I’m dying to see. I think part of the problem is that both of the major champions are faces. The Rumble works better to me when fans are anticipating that one of their favorite faces will beat the odds and earn the opportunity to overthrow the heel champion at Mania. There’s less interest to me when there isn’t that chase.

Finally, please check out CBSSports.com over the next couple weeks for a lot of MMA content from me. I’ll be providing live coverage of Affliction Day of Reckoning this Saturday in Anaheim, then WEC Varner vs. Cerrone this Sunday in San Diego, then UFC 94 next Saturday in Las Vegas. I’ll be at each of the shows and I’ll have live results, analysis, and backstage notes. It should be a fun couple of weeks for MMA.

Todd Martin
ToddMartin4L@aol.com
toddwmartin.blogspot.com