The Big News: Kurt Angle was suspended for the show but showed up anyway, only to be thrown out at the end by Sting. Uh, no, actually Jeff Jarrett threw him out, even though Jarrett’s supposedly retired.

Jeff Jarrett opened the show backstage with an announcement that Kurt Angle had been suspended for one week after he attacked Mick Foley last week. Jarrett also said he was no longer an active wrestler, but was an officer of the organization. Didn’t he give that authority up to Mick Foley so he could wrestle just before Genesis? He also said that Angle had been fined and his salary has been donated to a worthy cause, but didn’t say what.

Mike Tenay previewed tonight’s lineup, then turned it over to Don West, who acted like he was going to apologize for running down Tenay last week. West looked remorseful, but it was a swerve of course and said he would do the same thing all over again. He said he was going to be a part of the announce team until someone told him otherwise. The problem with the rest of the show was a heel announcer is supposed to lie while standing up for the heels. Instead, TNA’s babyfaces find themselves in such ridiculous circumstances, West comes away with more credibility while Tenay is the cat left holding the bag.

Mick Foley came out and introduced Sting. Foley thanked Sting for saving him last week, but said that wasn’t the first time that Sting had saved him in his career. Pay attention to the phrasing here because Foley had an odd choice of words. You know when Mick Foley is getting criticized for an interview in this column, something’s wrong. Foley said the first time was the moment he spoke of during the second Hardcore History segment 101 from two weeks ago, when he came out of a refrigerator box and jumped Sting in 1991.

That led to Foley dropping the elbow from the second rope to the floor, his first major moment on national TV. Foley acted like that was the moment that led to his books, movies and getting over. Sting was listening with a wide grin on his face. Again, Foley was on the dying days of World Class doing that spot as Cactus Jack Manson in 1990. But Foley pointed out it wouldn’t have been nearly as important a moment if he hadn’t have dropped the elbow on Sting. Foley said he hoped after Destination X, that would be the end of Sting in the Main Event Mafia. Foley said the fans and the company need Sting back with TNA. Sting said he didn’t have a problem with Booker T, Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner. Foley said he may have dropped an elbow on Sting, but he never used him the way the Mafia is using him now.

Nash, Steiner, Booker and Sharmell came out. Nash did an interview so lengthy, he appeared gassed by the end. Nash said that the mafia was close to winning its war for respect. Considering the Front Line is hardly mentioned anymore, I’d say they’ve already won it. Sting said that when Angle spit in his face, he didn’t feel respected. Nash said that Angle may be a hothead, but he’s the mafia’s hothead. He said if he’s in a war, he wants Angle by his side, but wants Sting there with him too. Nash said if Sting stays in the mafia, they belt stays within the family regardless of who wins between Angle and Sting. But if Sting leaves, no one in the mafia will be able to accept it. Good promo from Nash, though it harkened back to the days when the N.W.O came off as rogue babyfaces when they were the top heels.

Even though he was supposedly suspended, Angle was shown walking backstage.

Rough Cut: Ultimate X looked at the most insane spots in the concept’s history. Black Machismo mentioned the time Chris Sabin gave A.J. Styles a missile drop kick while he was hanging on the cables, leading to Styles taking a flip bump. Styles said it was the time Kaz gave Christopher Daniels a cutter from the cable. Sabin mentioned the time he won the X Division title during the Nashville days, when they had to use black tape to keep the belt held up in the air, because it fell down in the previous Ultimate X match. They actually showed the footage of Sabin struggling to yank the belt down so much, when he finally tugged it off he crashed to the mat. And that was this week’s reminder from the company that they’re the minor leagues.

Black Machismo and Consequences Creed came out with new suits on. The gimmick was Jarrett gave them Angle’s money for the week to purchase the suits. Machismo started to do the wild eyed Ric Flair interview, and even teased giving his overcoat an elbow drop. He then morphed back into the Macho Man. This whole gimmick has grown so stale, it’s beginning to remind me of the old Memphis character Macho Warrior Ric Hogan, except that ran its course after about six weeks. And Jerry Lawler was smart enough to realize it. Jay Lethal has been doing this routine for almost two years now.

Alex Shelley defeated Kiyoshi to retain the X Division title in 4:16. For the record, that’s less time than Rhaka Kahn’s match/piece of crap last week. Tetsuya Naito and Yujiro, identified only as No Limit, joined Kiyoshi. They mentioned that No Limit wrestled the Motor City Machine Guns at the Global Impact II show. They mentioned that special was coming soon, but never said that it was taped on January 4th or that the guns won the IWGP junior tag team titles. Add me on the list with Dave Meltzer as to why it’s isn’t talked about when Team 3-D was shown with the IWGP tag belts last month. As you would expect, it was a hot match. Shelley was the face, I guess since he was wrestling a foreigner. He’s fallen into the classic Russo trap of being flipped so many times, the fans don’t know how to react to him. Shelley hit a Michinoku driver for a two count. Kiyoshi battled back with the final cut for a near fall. Finish came when Kiyoshi missed a head butt off the top rope, and Shelley responded with the brain buster and frog splash for the pin. **3/4

So the fans were totally behind Shelley after the best match in weeks. So what happens after he just wrestled as a face? Suicide floated in, forcing Shelley and Chris Sabin to start selling as heels. Again Suicide cleaned house, again to little reaction. The announcers played it up like Suicide would have to start actually wrestling soon. Maybe if whoever is under the mask can actually stay healthy, he would.

In the dressing room, Scott Steiner couldn’t believe that Angle showed up when he’s supposed to be suspended. Steiner and Nash tried to talk him into leaving, but Angle wouldn’t listen. Booker told Angle that Jarrett had given Angle’s weekly pay to the Front Line, who used it on new clothes. So Angle vowed to go find the Front Line to get his property back.

Beer Money did a promo about the two wrestlers who have been fired due to their Off the Wagon challenge. Somehow I get the feeling this was management’s words coming out of Robert Roode’s mouth. He ran down Petey Williams and Lance Rock (though their names were never mentioned) and told them to get a job at the soup kitchen. He teased doing the same to LAX tonight.

LAX came out and did a promo saying they weren’t losing tonight. It was like the ring entrance was longer than the interview.

Booker was on the phone in the locker room telling someone to show up so they could jump Styles tonight. If Styles actually watched the show, I’d guess he’d understand what to look for. But long ago, TNA established that their own wrestlers don’t watch Impact, so Booker had nothing to worry about.

The Win A Date with ODB gimmick looks like it’s wound down to three finalists. Cody Deaner, the indy wrestler who claimed to be from Muscle Shoals, Alabama, first appeared guzzling beers. Deaner’s from Ontario, Canada. I guess somebody got his gimmick hometown by listening to “Sweet Home Alabama,” where Lynard Skynyrd mentioned the Muscle Shoals studios. They was also an unidentified guy who looked like former UFC owner Bob Meyowitz who offered ODB a chance to look at his stimulus package, if you know what I mean. Then Shark Boy, who I guess is still among the ranks of the living, cut a promo as the third finalist.

Kurt Angle was shown jumping Creed backstage and tearing his clothes off.

2. The Beautiful People won a four corners match over Taylor Wilde and Roxxi, Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed and Sojourner Bolt and Rhaka Khan in 3:21. The governor is still accompanying Roxxi and Wilde to the ring. Talk about a gimmick that’s under. Raisha Saeed and Taylor Wilde traded stiff forearms early. After Wilde tagged out, Madison Rayne walked down the ramp. She had a total heel makeover. It ended with all eight women brawling, and the governor running in right in front of referee Mark Johnson. The governor gave Angelina Love a fisherman’s suplex/neckbreaker, which was called the thriller from Wasilla. Finish saw Roxxi about to deliver the voodoo drop on Love, but Love gave her a knee to the head, followed by a run in from Rayne, who delivered a missile dropkick on Roxxi. Love then pinned Roxxi after a lights out. Tenay indicated that Rayne is aligned with the Beautiful People. *

Jeff Jarrett told Jeremy Borash that Kurt Angle would pay for showing up to the building tonight.

Booker T and Scott Steiner came out and tried to sweet talk Styles into coming out and giving him his Legends title back in exchange for Booker not filing charges against him. Styles’ music and fireworks came on, but Styles ran up from behind. I was wondering if TNA was going to present their babyfaces as morons this week, and fortunately they didn’t. That doesn’t mean Styles left with Booker’s belt, mind you. Styles got early offense, but was eventually double teamed by Booker and Steiner. Before he took too much of a beating, a group of masked SWAT team members came up from behind and arrested Styles. Booker got his belt back. While Steiner was watching this, one of the masked SWAT members came up from behind and unmasked himself as Samoa Joe, who flattened Steiner. Then Joe pulled out his machete again and held it to Steiner’s throat before security came in.

To ensure that Tenay’s career has officially entered the Tony Schiavone stage for having to sell total crap, Tenay talked about how he couldn’t blame Joe for his actions. Yeah, trying to murder someone on national television is totally understandable. When West started running down Tenay for that, you could just feel Tenay’s credibility dwindle. Now, I went to eat dinner with my parents tonight, and for some reason I turned the channel just in time for this segment. When Booker was doing his promo, my mother asked me if Styles would really fall for this. I had no idea what to tell her because the faces are constantly portrayed as total morons on this show. Not to mention that Styles was still outsmarted in this segment. Then Joe pulled out the machete, and you could hear my groans a mile away.

In the next segment, who did the cops arrest? The guy in the ring who held a machete to another man’s throat? Hell, no. They arrested Styles for stealing a fake wrestling belt, silly. Booker laughed at him as the cops drove him away.

Don West and Mike Tenay’s argument only came off as forced and phony sounding as the show went on. Finally, West walked off the set. And the credibility of the announcing team went with it, and boy is that scary to type.

As West walked away, Angle threw Machismo out of the entrance way onto the ramp. Machismo got a brief comeback, but Angle gave him the Olympic slam. Jarrett was watching from the back and said he was going to kick his ass.

Abyss was in therapy again. He brought up how Tom and Jerry always fought in some cartoons but were friends in others. It dawned on me that TNA’s booking philosophy is based on Tom and Jerry. Which is fitting, since Tom and Jerry were always a low-rent version of Warner Brothers cartoons, and TNA is a low-rent version of WWE. Abyss said he was cured of his dependency of using weapons.

At this point it was 80 minutes into the show, and we’ve had seven minutes of wrestling. Damn it, they just don’t have the time!

In the middle of the next match, Tenay announced that Jim Cornette had taken back the Legends title from Booker. I guess that means the belt is held up, but it was never mentioned again.

Matt Morgan defeated Shane Sewell in 4:10. Pretty much a squash. Hard to believe that Sewell was as over as anyone in the company before the Genesis show, and now he’s basically a jobber. Crowd was behind Morgan like he was a face, which he isn’t. Morgan pretty much treated him like a joke, which was fitting in this case if Morgan is going anywhere. Morgan got the pin with the Hellevator. *

Morgan then cut a promo on Abyss afterward challenging him to a 10,000 thumbtacks match at Destination X. Morgan can still talk, but he got nothing in the way of heat.

Eric Young was wearing a suit supposedly purchased with Angle’s money, as well. He revealed that the suit was purchased from Goodwill, because they have sales on Wednesdays. He then said he got new speakers for his game room and started to quote George Thorogood until Angle predictably jumped him. I was said Angle didn’t wait, because I couldn’t begin to guess which Thorogood lyric Young was going to mention. Security broke them up and Angle said Jarrett was next. In the midst of all this, Lauren screamed help in the most unconvincing way possible.

Jarrett was backstage while Jim Cornette was playing the chickenshit authority figure role trying to talk him out of facing Angle. Mick Foley told Cornette that Jarrett was always a wrestler and he had to fight his own battles. Sting walked in and told Jarrett that the whole thing would be over in two weeks, so don’t fight Angle tonight. Jarrett promised to leave a piece of Angle for Sting.

LAX defeated Beer Money by DQ in an Off the Wagon Challenge match in 6:03. So Beer Money retains the titles but LAX is still in TNA. Hernandez did his superman spots, including giving both James Storm and Roode a suplex. Before a commercial, Hernandez gave Homicide the border toss onto both heels. That’s such a dangerous spot to use as a transition to a commercial. After a break, it turned into a standard battle between the two teams. Homicide got the heat. Beer Money did the double suplex spot where they chant their name. Homicide scampered away to make the hot tag, and Hernandez did the slingshot double shoulder block onto Roode and Storm. It led to Hernandez doing the 300-pound tope onto Roode and Storm where he lands on his feet. Homicide chased Jacqueline, who can really run with high heels on. Roode laid out Homicide by throwing him into the barricade. Hernandez tried to give Storm the border toss, but Roode hit him hard with a steel chair for the DQ. Homicide also took a chair shot to the head. It led to 3-D making the save. Brother Ray challenged Beer Money to an Off the Wagon tag title match at Destination X. ***

Kurt Angle came out and ran down Jarrett. After a commercial, it turned into the brawl that the Angle-Sting empty arena match should have been. They fought back-and-forth into the crowd. Crowd chanted “Jarrett” and “Double J.” It ended with Jarrett throwing Angle in the wall three times, then throwing him out of the arena through an exit door. Foley and Team 3-D came out to congratulate Jarrett, and they posed in the ring together to end the show.

SUMMARY: Probably the best show this year, but I’m confused why they took Angle’s heat away at a time when they need to be building toward the main event. I’m even more skeptical about why Jarrett was the man who went over on Angle since he’s not supposed to be an active wrestler. That is unless you put two seconds thought into it, and then it makes perfect sense. But two solid matches, and almost no Rhaka Kahn, adds up to a pretty good show.

Jeff Hamlin
jhamlin@wchl1360.com