After Raw, I was very interested in how the WWE would get people back interested in the road to WrestleMania, as I think you have to say that, with the exception of The Undertaker and Shawn Michaels’ opening segment, pretty much everything else on the show made me less interested in seeing the big matches at Mania.

You would think this would mean WWE have something special up their sleeves for this episode of SmackDown. Also in the mix is the fact that this is the 500th Episode of SmackDown, and the WWE acknowledges this with a 30-second video package at the start of the show with highlights of various big SmackDown moments over the last decade, such as Stone Cold blowing up the DX bus, Stephanie McMahon slapping her mother, Eddie Guerrero’s WWE Title win celebration, and Eric Bischoff revealing himself to be the minister at the gay wedding.

Then we get a video package of HHH bashing up Cody Rhodes with a sledgehammer as he was locked in a cage on last week’s Raw. Quite how this makes HHH the babyface in the scenario I have no idea, especially as the week before HHH broke into Orton’s house and attacked just about everybody.

HHH gets on the mic and says he and Stephanie McMahon “are actually married IN REAL LIFE” – WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS THIS SHIT? AM I WATCHING TNA? He admits that everybody knew it anyway, including Orton, so he should’ve known better than to RKO her. OK, this is some bullshit. HHH calls bullshit on Orton’s IED and says he’s a coward, but come WrestleMania its Orton and HHH with nobody else involved. Towards the end this became a totally MONEY promo, to HHH’s credit, he really made me believe they’re going to beat the hell out of each other and the audience ate it up and believed him completely.

Then Vladimir Kozlov came out. Fuck, are we really getting HHH v. Kozlov here? Did I not suffer enough by having to sit through that match at Survivor Series? This was fucking awful. Early on there’s a really noticeable edit as Kozlov is running the ropes, only to immediately be in a different position to be clotheslined over the top. Kozlov tried to get heat by doing a waistlock on the ground. This was no buys.

In the ring, I like HHH and think when he’s in there with the right opponent he can put together some really special matches that I’ve loved, but when he’s in there with opponents like Kozlov, or in the past Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash, he can’t do the Ric Flair thing of having his formula be entertaining enough to plug a guy in there and have a good match still. If I never see these two wrestle again I will be happy. HHH got a clean win with the pedigree, and to be fair he does need strong wins heading into Mania.

We get a video package of the Edge/Big Show/Vickie love triangle, with both guys telling Vickie that the other one doesn’t love them. Then we get clips of the Cena/Edge match on Raw with Vickie as referee, which lead to the admittedly great spots where Cena was tied in the ropes and unable to escape both Edge’s spear and Big Show’s knockout punch.

This week’s WrestleMania video package is on WrestleMania 23, where they returned to Detroit, and Vince McMahon lost his hair against Donald Trump.

Back in, and MVP and Shelton Benjamin are stood face to face in the ring so Tony Chimmel can do in-ring introductions for their US Title match. I really like the use of in-ring introductions for title matches, it’s not really something the WWE were all that known for in the past, but the NWA used to do it, and ROH does it for their World Title matches and big main events, and it just gives a match which may otherwise be seen as throwaway a big-match feel. At times this match seemed like watching a wrestling match being played on the playstation, in that the movement looked really disjointed and they moved awkwardly in the ring, and there wasn’t a real flow to the match besides pretty much taking it in turns to do moves, ending in MVP hitting the Play Of The Day for the win and the title.

I’m not sure what this means for the careers of either guy, but they’re playing up MVP having momentum heading into Money In The Bank, but for some reason I still don’t see him as a potential winner.

A trailer is shown for John Cena’s new movie – 12 Rounds.

Then a clip is shown of HBK laying out Undertaker with Sweet Chin Music on Raw.

Edge and Vickie are backstage, and Vickie yells at Edge for turning on Big Show, saying the problem was Cena. They then show an AWESOME video package with comments on the Mania 3way from Edge, Show and Cena. One of those great studio pieces the WWE are so good at when they put their minds to it.

Shawn Michaels v. Kane. In the 90s, Shawn had the reputation of the guy who could go in there with a Sid or a Diesel and because he was athletically so great and could take unbelievable bumps, he would have a really entertaining match. Now as the veteran, even though he’s working smarter in a lot of respects, he’s lost that due to the wear and tear and accumulation of injuries over the years, and this has meant that his matches against big guys aren’t as good as they used to be. Luckily Taker isn’t a lumbering big immobile monster like he perhaps was earlier in his career and Kane is now so I still think Mania will be something really special.

That’s not to say this was a bad match, but matches like these are where you see how incredible 1996 Shawn Michaels was because it would’ve been much better. I’m not sure about Kane, the twisted evil monster, taking the veteran wrestler to the ground working an arm bar, that definitely seems out of character.

Shawn won when Kane was stalking him getting set for the chokeslam and got nailed with a Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere. That was an important and sensible finish heading into WrestleMania, especially as Shawn countered the chokeslam earlier in the match as well, spots which you’d think would also happen at WrestleMania.

Vickie and Big Show are backstage, and Vickie is begging Show not to take revenge on Edge for spearing him on Raw, but Show says it’s something he’s got to do, and Edge deserves the beating that’s coming to him.

Then we get another 12 Rounds Trailer, before Jim Ross makes the announcement that the Jeff Hardy v. Matt Hardy match at WrestleMania is now Extreme Rules. Honestly that could steal the show, but after Matt’s promo last week I was hoping they’d do a dog collar match, because that would really up the personal hatred and potential for violence, whereas extreme rules I just see the Hardyz putting together a ladder and table related stunt bump show, and WrestleMania already has one of those matches with Money In The Bank.

Then Jeff comes out with his weirdo facepaint, which I guess has been established that he uses when he’s pissed off and vengeful, for his Extreme Rules match with The Brian Kendrick. It basically allowed Ezekiel to interfere, only for Jeff to go mental and take him out with chairshots, before Hardy and Kendrick worked a decent little match, ending when Hardy gave Kendrick a Twist Of Fate on a chair followed by the swanton bomb for the win. There was a great camera shot after Hardy gave Kendrick a flapjack from powerbomb position, then sat in the ring and stared at the camera, and he gave off this great disturbed look that just made you believe he’ll do some fucked up shit come Mania, which is just what you want people believing.

Then another HHH/Orton video package is shown, complete with clips of Stephanie and HHH’s real life wedding.

This is followed by the Hall Of Fame video on the newest inductees, the Von Erich family. It’s much deserved, and as was stated by Shawn Michaels and Steve Austin in the video, they pretty much ruled Texas and were local celebrities in a way that nobody really is in wrestling anymore, as the “who the fuck is this guy?” reaction to John Cena on Saturday Night Live last week shows. Michael Hayes is inducting them, and for entertainment purposes let’s hope he’s fucking loaded.

We then got another 12 Rounds video package, followed by clips of The Undertaker and Shawn Michaels beating JBL and Kozlov on Raw when Shawn blind tagged himself in to hit the winning Sweet Chin Music on JBL.

Then Undertaker cut a promo saying he’s the hunter and Shawn is his prey, before a singles match with JBL. This gives JR time to announce that JBL v. Rey Mysterio has been confirmed as an InterContinental Title match at WrestleMania. Now all we need is Evan Bourne to get a place on the card, so I think they should put him in there with Jack Swagger and everyone besides the injured Batista who deserves a spot on the Mania card will have one.

Taker and JBL have always had decent big man matches without being great, and that pattern continues here, with a crowd that are into the match. In a good way it shows how professional they are that the match pretty much consists of punches and signature moves with nothing else and it’s really good still. It’s actually when they do more, JBL working over Taker’s leg for the figure four leglock where you wonder why JBL is doing this, but the spot where Taker sits up, gives the evil eyes and grabs JBL by the throat to counter was a great spot and made the leg work worth it.

The longer this went on, the more epic the match felt, and once Taker kicked out of the clothesline from hell and locked on the Devils Gate for the submission victory I was hooked. Really good, and if Taker is on this form against a winding-down-to-retirement JBL, then he’ll do something amazing against Michaels.

The Big Show comes to the ring and calls out Edge, who comes to the ring and they yell at each other, which actually got across the feeling of those two disliking each other much better than a regular “my turn, your turn” wrestling promo. Vickie ran out to interrupt the shouting match, begging them to call a truce. She admits that she loves them both, but after WrestleMania will leave with the winner. Well that’s a lame stipulation that you have to believe won’t add a single buy to WrestleMania. Edge and Show then give the most awkward unbelievable handshake you’ve ever seen, which made me laugh.

John Cena interrupts, to a huge superstar reaction. I’m not sure if it’s the more child-heavy audience or the fact that because he’s a Raw guy when people bought tickets they wouldn’t have known he’d be there. Cena points out that he wants the World Title but isn’t down with a “winner takes Vickie” stipulation, before mocking Edge for shaking hands with the guy fucking his wife (Show’s smug grin here was one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen), and mocking Show for shaking hands with the guy who speared him last week. This led to more Edge-Show arguing, and Vickie being knocked down by Show, so when Show helps her up, Edge goes to spear him but Show moves and Vickie takes it.

Show and Edge then argue over who gets to carry Vickie to the back, resulting in Edge tripping Show and making him drop Vickie, so Show chokeslammed him and carried Vickie to the back. Well, I guess that truce thing is out the window then? Thank fuck.

I really enjoyed this show, the big names made it feel like a special show and the main matches at WrestleMania all got a good deal of hype, and in the main it was good hype, be it matches, video packages or promos.

Mark Bright
mark@ifight365.com