The Big News: WWE had its annual draft show, with the matches on the show dictating who would switch shows.

Show Analysis:

The show opened with an odd scene. They panned to the different announce tables where the Raw, Smackdown and ECW teams introduced the show. Well, they cut to Josh Mathews, commentating live for one of his first shows, and he immediately developed a nose bleed like a nervous teenager. “I feel your pain, brother,” Fred Ottman remarked somewhere.

Next up was a promo segment. Batista came out and said he wanted retribution for Randy Orton taking him out. Shane McMahon then joined him and said he wants retribution just as badly. HHH then came out to say he would be the one to get retribution since Orton was coming after him all along. Vickie Guerrero then came out and announced Shane, HHH and Batista vs. Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase, with one of them getting a match against Orton if they win.

This was the worst show-opening talk segment in years. They are almost always entertaining and helpful in advancing the key storylines, but this one felt completely pointless, dull and poorly delivered. Guys, you’re getting Orton in a six man tag. All three of you can get your revenge. You look like self-centered morons arguing about it.

Rey Mysterio beat Evan Bourne. Rey used a drop toe hold to send Bourne into the barricade. Bourne hit a standing moonsault and went to the top but Rey cut him off with a top rope huracanrana. Rey then finished Bourne with the 619 and top rope splash. This was good, but it was tremendously disappointing that they had a three hour show and gave these guys less than five minutes.

MVP was the first draft pick to Raw. I think that’s a good move. MVP has been on Smackdown forever and moving to Raw may be able to establish him at a higher level. It’s imperative to keep him strong at first.

As a minor point, the announcers kept talking about how there would be “random” picks in this draft. Given everyone with a brain can figure out that the top stars are drafted on Raw and the lesser stars are drafted on the supplemental draft, why not just acknowledge that next year? Just say that the brands will receive picks from the top stars of each brand. It’s true, and it doesn’t feel like you’re insulting anyone’s intelligence.

Kane beat The Brian Kendrick. Kane nailed Ezekiel with a big boot. Kendrick missed sliced bread #2 and Kane beat him with the choke slam. Big Show was then drafted to Raw in a move that doesn’t matter one way or another.

Orton complained to Vickie Guerrero backstage about the handicap match. In response, Vickie said that if Rhodes or DiBiase won, the person they beat would have to face all three members of Legacy in a handicap match next week. Jack Swagger and John Cena had a confrontation backstage. Swagger said that he is the future of the company and that when he beat Cena WWE would have a new poster boy. Cena responded by making fun of Swagger for calling himself the All American American. Cena’s right, you know.

Michelle McCool, Maryse and Natalya beat Kelly Kelly, Mickie James and Melina. They went a minute or so in another one of those matches that just make matches feel pointless. They really need to reverse that trend if they want to sell PPVs, and I think as a result it’s about time to put the kibosh on matches shorter than four minutes or so. They do more harm than good just about every single time. Mickie came off the ropes and was caught with a Michelle boot to the face for the pin. Melina was drafted to Smackdown.

John Cena beat Jack Swagger. Swagger hit a clothesline and applied a full nelson which Cena powered out of. Cena hit shoulder blocks, the Cena slam and the five knuckle shuffle. Cena went for the FU but Swagger grabbed the ropes. Swagger hit a yakuza kick and botched a DDT really badly. He followed with a knee lift and power slam but was caught coming off the ropes with the FU. Cena then applied the STF for the tap out.

I’d avoid having Swagger do jobs in general, but on rare occasions against a Cena level star I think it’s fine. The match, however, was not good at all. The picks to Raw were HHH and Matt Hardy. HHH is basically a Raw guy already. I am curious what they are going to do with the titles, given Cena and HHH are both on Raw. The most obvious thing is Cena losing the title to Edge, but they may feel that is too obvious.

As for Hardy, I don’t really understand what they’re doing with him. It seems they want to continue his feud with Jeff Hardy, so either Jeff is getting drafted in the supplemental draft or they’re going to undermine the split brand premise right after the draft, which would be quite dumb. After they announced the draft choices, Edge jumped Cena from behind but Cena fought Edge off.

Great Khali beat Santino in a squash. Beth Phoenix told Santino that if Khali won, he would get to kiss Santina next week. Khali won with a chop. CM Punk was then drafted to Smackdown. I think that will work well. He can eventually torment the champion Edge.

Kofi Kingston beat the Miz via DQ. Miz hit a baseball slide and dropped Kofi on the ring apron. Kofi came back with a frog crossbody but Miz rolled through for two. Kofi hit the side Ghanan leg sweep and high double leg drop. Kofi missed trouble in paradise but Miz couldn’t capitalize. Kofi got up on the second rope. Morrison tried to push him off but the referee saw it for the DQ.

Miz was drafted to Raw. Miz attacked Morrison and gave him a swinging neck breaker. I think splitting up Miz and Morrison is a good move. Yes, they work well as a tag team. But tag teams mean absolutely nothing in WWE in 2009. It’s just brands the guys as midcarders, when Morrison is one of the few guys on the entire roster who could be elevated to a much higher position and help freshen things up.

The execution of this, however, was weird. It was like Miz was the star. He is the one going to the A show, and he is the one who was focused on here. Morrison, on the other hand, is stuck in nothing happening ECW. I don’t really understand this segment if it was intended as the beginning of a big push for Morrison as a single.

Edge won a three brand battle royal over MVP, Cryme Tyme, Mike Knox, Big Show, Finlay, Tyson Kidd, Paul Burchill, Mark Henry, Ricky Ortiz, the Colons, R. Truth and Chavo Guerrero. The story was that Big Show and Mark Henry were eliminating everyone. Show dumped Ortiz, Burchill, Chavo, Primo, Kidd and Carlito. Henry threw out Knox, Shad, Truth, JTG and MVP.

Edge eliminated Finlay. That left Edge, Henry and Show. Show lifted Henry over the top rope to the apron and eliminated him with the knockout punch. Show then charged Edge like an idiot and Edge pulled down the ropes for the final elimination.

The draft picks to Smackdown were Kane and Chris Jericho. Kane is pretty inconsequential, as he basically flips places with Show. Jericho as a selection I really like. He’s kind of been lost in the shuffle on Raw, and with Smackdown a little thinner it should provide Jericho the opportunity to really shine.

Christian beat Shelton Benjamin to earn ECW its only draft pick. Christian went to the top but Shelton leaped up and hurled him off with a release superplex. Christian went for the kill switch but Benjamin reversed into a back breaker. Benjamin missed the stinger splash and Christian hit the kill switch for the pin. As they got ready for the ECW pick to be revealed, Matt Striker said he hoped it would be John Cena. That was funny. It turned out to be Vladimir Kozlov, which isn’t the most inspiring of additions.

Matt Hardy beat CM Punk via DQ. Matt used an abdominal stretch and hit the side effect, but Jeff ran in and attacked Matt for the DQ. Jeff set up for the swanton, but Matt escaped. Maryse was drafted to Raw, presumably to feud with Beth Phoenix when Beth fully turns face.

This was the fourth champion to switch brands on this show, with a fifth to come. I don’t harp on this point because I know WWE doesn’t think in sports terms, but I always hate this brand switching of champions. The idea of a championship is that it symbolizes you are the best at something. People care about a title fight because it will decide who the best fighter in a certain weight class is.

WWE has completely undermined this notion by having so many belts and not protecting the champions, which is a big part of their PPV decline and inability to elevate new stars. But when they have five champions move away from the place that they won and defended their titles, why even bother with having the titles? You’re just beating people over the head with the fact that the titles are just gold props for certain wrestlers to carry around. Nobody cares about two people fighting over an inanimate object. They care about the symbolism of that object, symbolism that has been completely and utterly lost.

Chris Jericho beat Tommy Dreamer. Dreamer went for a DDT which Jericho reversed into a Walls attempt, but Dreamer avoided that. Dreamer hit a sit down power bomb and went to the top but was crotched. Dreamer came off the ropes anyway, but was caught with the code breaker for the pin. Rey Mysterio was then drafted to Smackdown. That’s clearly the wise move and one of the most obvious moves going in, as hopefully Rey can help regain some of the Hispanic fans that Smackdown has lost.

The highlight (well, lowlight really) of this match was Todd Grisham making a complete jackass of himself. Matt Striker put over Tommy Dreamer as an ECW legend. Grisham responded smugly that if Dreamer is a legend so too is the Brooklyn Brawler. What a dipshit. Now, granted, Dreamer hasn’t exactly headlined Madison Square Garden and he’s enhancement talent now, but he is absolutely one of the biggest stars in ECW history. Why even keep the ECW name if its biggest historical stars are akin to WWF jobbers?

And what possible good comes from a play-by-play announcer burying a face like that? You’re just disrespecting a guy who has worked really hard and sacrificed so much in this business for 15 years, and that clown Grisham hasn’t even seen more than clips of what Dreamer did in the original ECW anyway. Well, Todd Grisham, you’re as much of a pro wrestling announcing legend as Art Donovan.

HHH, Batista and Shane McMahon beat Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. The faces here were TNA level annoying and unsympathetic. The story is that they are so selfish and stupid that they will fight amongst themselves so they can get Randy Orton first, rather than just waiting for a six man tag in a mere two weeks where they can all get their revenge on him. And if this is the story, why didn’t Shane just jump HHH the week before Mania so he could get his hands on Orton instead?

Anyway, the faces broke up each other’s pin attempts. Batista hit a spine buster and Batista bomb on DiBiase but Shane broke up the pin. Batista shoved Shane, and Shane speared Batista. In the midst of this HHH tagged himself in and hit the pedigree on DiBiase for the pin.

Final Thoughts:

I didn’t care for this show at all. It kept my interest and curiosity, but they did so many things that drove me nuts up and down the card. Ultimately, I’m not even sure why they had a draft right now. It felt like very little changed. They switched up their big men and women’s champions and midcard champions and midcard heels, but it wasn’t like they did a lot to set up big new feuds or to elevate fresher talent. I’m not terribly optimistic about summer 2009 in WWE.

Todd Martin
ToddMartin4L@aol.com
toddwmartin.blogspot.com