Vincent Kennedy McMahon is a wealthy, self-indulgent, selfish, petulant child. It’s time for Vince to grow up.

Anyone who’s been watching WWE programme for the last decade is well aware of this attitude. He plays, on-screen, usually, a heel. As a bad guy, he’s a ruthless, morally repugnant low-life. He’s capable of sinking to unthinkable lows, and yet somehow outsmarts everyone but the top stars. As a babyface, he’s the ultimate man, a shining example of thrusting manhood, with his proud, chicken-like strut, and his desire to please the fans. He’s the guys that put those vile yahoos, WCW, out of business, you know.

Either way, whatever role he’s playing, he’s one of the stars of the show.

Recently, his easy elimination from the Orton storyline, then very, very fleeting return, signal that he may be realising, for health reasons, and due to GASP, physical limitations, he can’t do it in the ring anymore. But more likely, his relatively small role in this story, was due to his arrogant desire to ensure no McMahon ever looks weak (In Fighting Spirit Magazine last year, we broke how this obsession runs so deep, that McMahon’s son-in-law, Triple H, is not to look inferior to anyone in PICTURES TAKEN FROM THE COMPUTER GAME). Retarded, you may think, but in McMahon-Land, these things are vital, and no doubt occupy the thoughts of Vince as he downs continual Protein shakes during business meetings. In the recent Jean Claude Van Damme film, JCVD, after Van Damme is taken hostage in a Post Office, he’s helped by a Security guard, who in fan boy fashion, asks, “WOW! How do you develop your triceps?”

You have to understand- its Vince’s dream for stuff like that to happen to him.

However, there’s a downside to Vince’s ageing body, and inability to work twenty minute matches. And that’s his clone, I mean….son, Shane O’Mac.

Who’s been writing the crap Shane McMahon has been featured in for the past few months? Obviously, the Raw team, with no doubt, Vince heavily involved. He needs to wake up and smell the turd that he’s spawned. Shane is not a Professional Wrestler. Can he have great matches? Yes, certainly, he even had one with Test in 1999. Could he have been a full-time pro wrestler? Undoubtedly, but he chose a different spot in life.

I did a degree in Film Studies, but I chose this turbulent path, instead of the film industry. If I walked onto a film set tomorrow, do you think I’d expect a top spot in the crew? Of Course not. But in ego-maniacal Mc-Mahon land, the McMahon’s are such “successes” in life, that they expect it’s fine to be portrayed as such no matter what they apply themselves to.

Shane is not a full-time wrestler, is not a draw, never will be, and is a detriment to every single person on the Roster. He’s a middle-aged man, who has consistently made everyone look like shit for several months. I’m sick to the stomach watching old grey hair rip off his designer blazers, and beat the top heel of the show, from pillar to post.

On Raw this week, Mega-Shane once more stood tall and proud, taking on the entire Legacy faction. That’s Cody Rhodes, who now even the kiddies know, because he’s been on the programme for ages, Ted DiBiase, who they somehow expect to be a Babyface, miraculously, by the time the Marine 2 comes out, even though he’s been booked like a complete pussy (fans historically do not buy it, when complete chickenshit heels, suddenly turn, and for no particular reason, we’re supposed to accept their ridiculous progression in ability). Oh, and Randy Orton- the WWE Champion, a guy that’s supposed to draw money. Who the fuck is going to pay to watch Batista beat the snot out of this guy, if a plump, rosy-cheeked business man can do it every single fucking week?

Legacy is the sort of team that thrive on being watchable, featured in simple, but sometimes multi-layered weekly developments. It’s the sort of stuff that you would imagine is easy to book, but yet the WWE have botched since day one. Yes, I get it that they’re terrified of making Randy Orton look cool, in case it turns him a Face in the eyes of the crowd, but c’mon! He can still look a slithering villain, without having to compromise and sell for an old fart whose punches are worse than John Cena’s. Imagine how over Ric Flair would have been as a heel in 1992, if Jack Tunney had came to the ring and slapped the bejeesus out him! Who needs Randy Savage when you’ve got Tunney!

Vince needs to immediately cease living out his teenage masturbatory fantasies through his middle-aged son. Shane, on the other hand, should desist from performing his dysfunctional desire to please daddy, in front of millions every week, and become AN ADULT. Nobody is interested in your goofy dance, self-marking t-shirts, and repeated ability to beat the odds. We get the picture guys, Shane is Superman, and yes, Vince, it’s because he’s composed of your grapefruit juice.

But there are other signs that Vince is a juvenile delinquent trapped in the body of a wrinkly Adonis.

How about the nonsensical way in which he has compromised business in order to swerve/piss off the “smart” fans? Supposedly, Vince was irate about such storylines as Chris Jericho’s return in late 2007, and more recently, Christian’s signing from TNA, “leaking”. The Jeff Hardy/Christian storyline was “ruined”, by being “leaked” to fans. So rather than do it anyway (fans were anxiously awaiting this feud), he decided to sacrifice good business, to spite those of us who guessed his plans. That’s right- we “guessed” Vince, the story wasn’t fucking leaked, it was just obvious to anyone who has watched wrestling for more than five minutes.

Vince’s treatment of announcers is a complete disgrace. I understand, though don’t agree with his compulsion to control every single last word heard on his shows, but can you imagine Mike Goldberg taking that crap? If Vince had signed the UFC announcer, there’s not a chance in hell, that a true professional from anywhere other than the zany world of Wrestling, would have sat and took the abuse he dishes out over the head-set.

In recent times, Tazz, Mick Foley, and more disturbingly, JBL, have voiced having issues with Vince’s working methods. If you’re going to employ people to do that job, and then control exactly what they say, you’d be as well hiring twenty Todd Grisham’s, Vince, and getting rid of the “ugly” ones.

Talking about doing a new TV show, so the WWE is running like, every friggin’ night, suggests that Vince hasn’t a clue. No-one has an interest in seeing WWE every night! Will he hire a new roster? How about a pay rise for the behind the scenes folk, for the crew, and creative? Or is he so insular that he’ll actually expect staff to simply add it to their work-load? When you sign-up to work for the WWE folks, Vince expects blood. Just ask Freddie Prince JR. He lasted a long time.

Your mother’s funeral? Fuck that, Vinnie will have She-Devil Stephanie on the phone in seconds. Death is not an excuse for taking a day off.

The Kiss My Ass club. A man who frequently indulges in these storylines has serious, serious issues. Or could it be that he’s still just an adolescent who gets off on cheap jibes and cruel, bullying humour. Remember when he did that truly disgusting backstage segment on JR? You know the one…

Speaking of horrendous ideas, famously, Vince also once proposed that they do an Incest storyline with Steph. He’s out of his mind.

Recently, McMahon’s self-serving venom was spat in the face of TNA overlord, Dixie Carter. Fine in itself (the woman knows nothing about pro wrestling), but the specifics of what he said were truly laughable. Labelling TNA “reprehensible” (which it is in many ways, but no more than the WWE has often been), was an unnecessary side-swipe at a company he contradictorily views as “off-the-radar”, and “not competition”. Strange that. Petulant too.

Clearly, Vince needs an attitude overhaul. He needs assholes like Randy Orton in his company to step up, and occasional tell him, that he’s full of nards. Surrounding yourself with a buffer of love-sick, slurping, pleasure-giving leeches clearly turns one into a demented human being. The WWE is comprised by a large number of these festering souls. He’s not hip, he’s not “with-it”, and he’s not “down” with anyone under the age of forty, but there’s no chance his stooges are going to point this out to him. Vince should bite the bullet, and start entrusting the creative side of things to real human beings, who are on trend, and consistent with popular culture.

Farting in a room may be funny if you’re in said enclosure, but it doesn’t make for good television.

I hate typing swear-words. HATE IT. I find it unnecessary, and a lazy form of writing. Vince McMahon and his Junior variation deserve it.

Thanks for taking the time to check this out. I welcome any and all feedback and I can be contacted at www.myspace.com/michaelwrestlingetc or simply by emailing me at Michael@ifight365.com. I look forward to hearing from you, and will be back soon!