This week’s SmackDown kicks off with a promo by The Undertaker.  He is in classic Undertaker mode, talking about how a creature of the night was unleashed at Survivor Series and every year immortal souls are vanquished at his feet, as well as the awesome addition to his act that is “World Heavyweight Title as soul bait” that is so awesome it’d almost be reason enough alone to keep the title on him.  He says his two biggest pleasures in life are fighting alongside his brother Kane and fighting against his brother Kane, and Chris Jericho will pay for ruining that opportunity for him last week.

This brought out Jericho and he points out that finally after ten years he’s getting the chance to face Taker.  Given how much the top guys in WWE wrestle and interact with each other, this really did stand out as a huge moment, which makes it all the more retarded that Big Show is also in this bout making it a triple threat.  Jericho says Taker has brainwashed all the gelatinous tapeworms over the years that he’s a phenom and a dead man, but Jericho says he’s just a man, and he can beat any man.  Taker responded by grabbing Jericho’s throat, and Jericho punched clear, but as he ran off the ropes Taker nailed a big boot and Jericho bailed.  That would’ve been a really effective opening segment if the Survivor Series main event was Jericho/Taker in a singles match, but it’s not, so…

The opening match was made by combining the two SmackDown never-ending feuds as The Hart Dynasty and Dolph Ziggler beat Cryme Tyme and John Morrison in a match where the main focus was Morrison’s rib injury, as he would sell it after hitting his big moves, and the turning point of the match was Ziggler flapjacking Morrison ribs-first into the guardrail. This allowed Dolph to blind-tag himself in as Shad was setting up DH Smith for a running powerslam and nail Shad with the Zig Zag.  This was decent enough but there’s definitely a sense that you’ve seen it all before.

Then we get a backstage segment with Josh Matthews interviewing Rey Mysterio, where it’s confirmed that it’s going to be Rey v. Batista at Survivor Series.  Rey said Batista will see a whole different side of him, and it was a really good serious promo. Oh, apart from when he said one of the reasons for the match was that Batista “threw away the spirit of Eddie Guerrero.” Oh FUCK OFF.

The next match was another Beth Phoenix squash in much the same vein as last week, which gave Grisham and Striker the opportunity to put over her strength, as she quickly wins with the Glam Slam.

The next match was due to be Drew McIntyre v. Jimmy Wang Yang, but McIntyre attacked him before the bell and laid him out, before cutting a promo about wanting some real competition.  As Drew was talking, Yang crawled back into the ring, so McIntyre beat on him some more, laid him out with the double-arm DDT and pinned him.

Batista cuts a promo saying he isn’t on SmackDown to be friends with people, he’s there to win the World Heavyweight Title, and he’ll hurt anyone that gets in his way to prevent that from happening. 

Up next was Rey Mysterio v. Mike Knox and this fucking RULED.  There was one awesome spot early as Rey went for his dive off the apron but Knox ducked, so Rey landed on his feet only to turn around into Knox’s awesome flying crossbody on the floor. The Knox flying crossbody is fast moving it’s way up the list of my favourite moves in wrestling right now, just the recklessness of a guy that big makes it look awesome.  And Rey is the best wrestler in the world when it comes to playing the underdog, and may be the best wrestler in the world without adding that caveat as well. He sells so great for sympathy, and given that it’s Rey/Batista at the PPV you needed to show Rey against another big man getting dominated but also coming back and winning clean to show it’s possible, and that’s what happened here as eventually Knox missed a charge in the corner, and Rey hit the 619 and the springboard splash. I really liked this match a lot, and I hate that WWE’s obsession with bodybuilder physiques mean Knox will forever be a lower-midcard heel because I’d give serious consideration to giving him a main event or at least semi-main event push.

The next match was R-Truth v. CM Punk, and it annoyed me for two reasons.  Firstly, it’s clear they don’t have anything for Punk right now, but they feel that throwing him in there with some jobber who has been buried for months getting destroyed by newcomer Drew McIntyre is the best way to use him. If he has no natural feud (and that’s not even true with Matt Hardy right there to do the “redemption for his brother” angle), he should just come out and cut promos.  Secondly, Scott Armstrong was the referee so anyone could see the finish coming a mile away, which was Punk getting pissed off with a few 2-counts, R-Truth rolling him up and Armstrong doing a lightening quick 3-count to screw Punk over.  I’m a huge CM Punk fan, but his post-match tantrum was unbelievably horribly done. If he wants to know how to throw a fantastic hissy fit on TV as a heel he needs to get a copy of the recent tag teams DVD and watch Jim Cornette’s astonishingly great performance as he’s put in a straight jacket and locked in a cage before the Midnight Express v. Fantastics match on that set. 

We get a backstage segment with Michelle McCool and Leyla as the plastics threatening the new girl Mickie James that she doesn’t belong on their show, and Mickie saying that she’ll not be intimidated and will win the women’s title.  They also bring up something about a divas match at Survivor Series which I know nothing about.

Matt Hardy cuts a backstage promo talking about how Batista is making the same mistakes by turning on Rey that he did by turning on Jeff earlier this year.

Then we got the main event, which was Batista v. Matt Hardy, following from the angle last week where Batista attacked Matt backstage.  The match wasn’t that great – I think despite this character change there’s still something I find eminently unwatchable about him, not helped by his clunkiness in the ring. And Matt isn’t nearly interesting enough a babyface to play off him.  The ending was effective, as it showed Batista snapping as they brawled on the outside, smashing Hardy into the announce table and hitting him in the back with a monitor for the DQ.  Afterwards, Batista continued the beating and set up Matt for the Batista Bomb, but walked out to massive boos instead of delivering it.  OK that was great.

Mark Bright
mark@ifight365.com