The Big News: Jeff Jarrett made his return to the Impact Zone for the first time in five months. It was also acknowledged that Karen Angle and her kids had moved in with Jarrett, though Karen’s name wasn’t mentioned. Jarrett had a meeting with Dixie Carter and even spoke with Kurt Angle briefly. It was a backstage heavy show with only one good match in two hours.

No show next week, so let me wish everyone a Happy Holiday season and best wishes for the New Year. May 2010 be a lot better than old one. Shouldn’t be too hard.

Mick Foley returned from his meeting with Hulk Hogan and wasn’t happy. He found Kevin Nash and welcomed him with a right hand to the head. They started brawling around the empty building with directors and boom microphone operators watching, just like the online atrocity with Abyss and Dr. Stevie. The World Elite ran in to jump Foley, and it ended with Nash getting in the last punch and telling Foley he was done. The tape from Los Angeles with Foley trying to meet with Hogan was supposed to meet tonight.

Roxxi did an interview with Lauren where she would make her return tonight. I guess we’re supposed to forget the time she made her return two months ago in a tag team match against the Beautiful People. Then again, she teamed with Madison Rayne shortly after the Beautiful People turned on her, and that was forgotten shortly afterwards. She now has blond hair to the point where you can’t tell she was shaved bald 18 months ago. Roxxi acknowledged wrestling in Mexico during her absence. She faces ODB tonight.

Kurt Angle did an interview with Jeremy Borash regarding a 10-man tag team match tonight. When Borash asked him about Jarrett, Angle turned his back and said nothing.

1.    Roxxi defeated ODB in a nontitle match in 4:11. Roxxi hit a mountain bomb and a yakuza kick, but crotched herself after missing a boot in the ropes. ODB did the carpet mucher, which is what Mike Tenay calls the bronco buster. ODB clamped on a bearhug, but missed another carpet muncher. Roxxi threw some bad looking forearms and hit the voodoo drop for a two count. ODB tried to hit Roxxi with a flask, but the referee grabbed ODB’s arm, leading to Roxxi pinning her with a reverse cradle. Postmatch, ODB, who I guess is a heel now, hit Roxxi with a flask before Tara made the save. Roxxi came away with a bloody mouth. *1/4

There was a tape of Foley and Borash traveling to Los Angeles to meet Hogan. They just have no chance on Monday nights. Foley was talking about flying to L.A. with several layovers in coach. After all this time, creative still has no idea how to build superstars or even make their company look first class. Now they put their creative in charge of Hogan, who hardly held himself in glory while he was booking his own programs during the early days of Nitro when fans were sick of his babyface routine. And it was all done for comedy. Foley and Borash drove up to the “Hulk’s” house, but Lou Ferrigno walked in. Get it? Nash arranged an interview with the Incredible Hulk, not Hulk Hogan. This was played up for comedy, yet it led to a serious angle which started the show.

Nash cut a screaming promo in the back saying that Hogan would be in the Impact Zone on January 4th, and Foley would be unemployed by then.

Foley was in his office saying the devil he does know (Jarrett) is better than the devil he doesn’t (Hogan). Abyss limped in and reminded Foley about the tag team match this weekend, then screamed at him about being jumped by Dr. Stevie and Raven. If I were Abyss, I’d be screaming at the moron who decided to put that abortion on the world wide web. Abyss and Foley vowed to have each other’s backs at Final Resolution. There was no explanation as to why Abyss was limping for those who haven’t seen the online footage. On the other hand, they’re better off not seeing it.

Suicide, Matt Morgan, Hernandez and Pope D’Angelo Dinero did yet another interview about their elimination match against Team 3-D, Jesse Neal and Rhino this Sunday. Hernandez must start the match 4-on-1 for the first five minutes after Hernandez lost to Neal last week. Morgan put him over as the right man to go at it alone.

2. Brother Ray defeated Matt Morgan in 4:46. Morgan hit a side slam and went for the carbon footprint, but Brother Ray moved and pulled off a back suplex. It turned into a de facto lumberjack match with the opposing teams at ringside. Ray got a two count after a hangman’s neckbreaker. Morgan made his comeback after no selling some chops and hitting a discus clothesline. Morgan hit a choke slam, but Rhino pulled Morgan off of Ray, leading to the six lumberjacks brawling. Morgan teased the hellavator, but Brother Dvon distracted Earl Hebner, allowing Neal to run in and give Morgan a low blow, and Ray got the DDT for the pin. Talk about proof positive that Jim Cornette’s influence is long gone. *1/2

There was the annual package of Jarrett’s history of TNA. Then Jarrett pulled up in a white Toyota wearing the same clothes he wore in the Tennessee bar last week. They can’t even make the top pushed star in the company dress and travel as a superstar. But as Jarrett got out of the car, it appeared the show was going to make up for it because all the stars stopped and watched him walk into the Impact Zone for the first time in five months, similar to the time Vince McMahon walked out of the arena shortly before he was blown up. It was getting somewhat dramatic as Jarrett was midway to the door, then they—you guessed it—cut away.

Beer Money talked about this weekend’s Feast or Fired match, which will either lead to the team getting a tag title shot or getting fired. Samoa Joe walked in and said he was also putting his career on the line. Eric Young walked in and said the entire World Elite was entering the Feast or Fired match solely to make sure that Beer Money would never get another shot at the British Invasion.

Awesome Kong and Hamada won a three-way tag team match over Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne and Sarita and Taylor Wilde in 1:51. No explanation at all why Hamada, who is a face, teamed with Kong, who is a heel. They’re now teasing Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky kissing during the ring entrance. Taylor Wilde did several dropkicks on Awesome Kong and threw punches in the corner before she was thrown off. Sarita did several revolutions on a satellite head scissors on Hamada. Sky tagged in and it slowed to a crawl. Kong tagged in, and while Hamada wiped out Wilde and Sarita with an Orihara moonsault, Kong pinned Rayne with a sitdown splash. Never had time to get going, and a pretty pointless use of the tag team champions. *

Lauren came up to interview Rayne afterwards, but Lacey Von Erich called her a skank, leading to Lauren slapping her.

In Foley’s office, Jarrett thought it was a mistake to return tonight. Basically, Foley tried to talk Jarrett into talking with Dixie Carter tonight in her office. I thought the gimmick of the past month of Foley angles was the fact that Carter was never at the Impact Zone, and Carter wouldn’t return any of Foley’s calls so he had no idea what was going on with Hogan. The Karen Angle situation again was brought up without outright providing details, which leaves 98% of the public in the dark. Jarrett felt it was wrong that he was sent home, and Foley said at the time, he thought it was the right thing to do. Jarrett was overacting here pretty bad.

Black Machismo did an interview regarding his 80’s superstar/worst career move since That 70’s Guy Challenge. He brought up the Red Rooster, the Model and the One Man Gang. They’ve milked one joke for three years and where is Machismo now? It doesn’t help matters when replays of Machismo’s match with Jim Neidhart were shown, complete with a 390-pound looking Neidhart getting the clean pin. It seems like the idea for this gimmick is to find a way to kill a 26-year-old’s career without using the usual career-killing gimmicks, like being boring or uncharismatic. So how can Vince Russo derail a career quicker than doing a losing streak gimmick? How about a losing streak gimmick against 80’s stars? Bingo, never been done before!

4. Tatanka defeated Black Machismo in 3:26. Tatanka looked roughly the same as his last WWE run from 18 months ago. It’s bad enough that Machismo jobs in these matches, but it’s even worse when he wrestles as the heel. Or that the 80’s legend gets 75% of the offense in a one-shot appearance against a contracted wrestler. Tatanka mainly threw chops, but Machismo’s double axehandle off the top rope with a punch to the midsection, then got the pin after a Samoan drop. I dare anyone to tell me how this helps Machismo in any way, which may answer my question. ½*

The Motor City Machine Guns did an interview with Christy Hemme when they face the British Invasion this weekend. After wrestling the past month as faces, Chris Sabin did a total heel interview similar to this past summer when they were the guys who were held down because they didn’t play politics.

Foley and Jarrett were talking again, where Foley wanted do to the talking when they meet with Carter. Jarrett rebuffed that and said he wanted to meet with Carter alone.

Jarrett walked into Carter’s office, which looked less elegant that Foley’s. Jarrett, speaking softly, wanted to get back into the company. Carter told him he put the company in a difficult position. It was at this point that Carter brought up Jarrett winding up with Karen Angle and his children, leaving Carter with no choice but to put Jarrett on the sideline. Jarrett apologized. Carter told him he had to set things straight with Angle before he could start again as a wrestler. At least Carter came off better as an actress than she did during her infamous lecture to the wrestlers.

Desmond Wolfe and Daniels went to a ten minute time limit draw, which was the case right down to the last second. Not as good as Angle’s match with A.J. Styles, but very solid, even with a one-week buildup. Taz is easily the best color commentator in pro wrestling today, which was the case again in this match. It boggles the mind that Nash wants him off the broadcast table in favor of Mark Madden. Is everything about this company out to resemble WCW 2000? Desmond Wolfe used a cravat for the first two-and-a-half minutes. They traded mat wrestling holds early, then started slapping each other. Daniels ended the stalemate with a leg lariat, where Taz brought up Dean Malenko’s name. Daniels hit an STO and a split-legged moonsault for a two count. Wolfe blocked a straight jacket slam off the top rope and made his comeback with a divorce court, followed by a running European uppercut for a near fall. Daniels fought back with a jawbreaker, an enzuigiri and went for the angel’s wings, but Wolfe blocked it turned it into a bridging scissored armbar, which became a crossface. After a struggle, Daniels bit Wolfe’s fingers to escape, hit a downward spiral and turned it into a Koji clutch. Wolfe turned that into a pinning combination for a two count. Wolfe went for the Tower of London, but Daniels escaped by raking the face. This led to the Malenko-Eddy Guerrero series of cradles, although not as crisp as the forerunners. As they teased near falls out of inside cradles, and just as the crowd was chanting “This is Awesome,” the bell sounded for the time limit. Crowd was chanting for more at the break. ***

Foley and Jarrett talked again as Jarrett was about to talk with Angle. Foley and Jarrett walked in, where Angle was getting ready for his next match. Jarrett said if he offended Angle in any way, he apologized. Angle said he had a match, then walked out. It should be mentioned that Tenay and Taz did the WCW 2000 gimmick where they never acknowledged the backstage angle.

A.J. Styles, Kurt Angle, Tomko, Bobby Lashley and Abyss defeated Scott Steiner, Raven, Brutus Magnus, Doug Williams and Dr. Stevie in 3:37. As Scott Steiner got in the ring, Taz mentioned how it’s wrong to mess with another man’s wife. Coming off the preceding angle, I’m not sure if that was the wisest choice of timing for that comment. It was supposed to be a ten-man tag, but it turned into a five-man (with the faces having the advantage, of course) when Stevie and Raven brawled to the back with Abyss. It was at this point when Tenay acknowledged the online angle. Then he mentioned the footage is still on their website. Have I mentioned they have no chance on Monday nights? Then Steiner and Bobby Lashley fought to the back, as well. During the brawl, Vince Russo did his Alfred Hitchcock cameo where he was seated at ringside. It was in this setting where Tomko made his return, and it wasn’t played up as a big deal at all. Angle gave Brutus Magnus a german suplex right away. As Angle got the heat, they cut to the back where Lashley and Steiner were brawling, as was Stevie and Raven with Abyss. Felt like the same angles they used last month to build the exact same matches. Rob Terry came to ringside and pulled Tomko off the apron, but Angle gave Styles the hot tag. Tomko stopped Doug Williams from jumping off the top rope onto Styles, leading to Styles getting the pin on Magnus with an inside cradle. *1/4

Postmatch, Angle somehow wound up with Styles’ championship belt. Styles grabbed it back, but Angle pie-faced him, leading to the two brawling. Daniels and Wolfe ran in, with Daniels laying out Styles and Wolfe giving Angle the divorce court. Wolfe held Angle in the London Dungeon as Daniels posed over Styles with the belt. Tomko was nowhere to be found in the midst of all this, which could lead to Wolfe, Daniels and Tomko being a heel group.

SUMMARY: A flat show with the Daniels-Wolfe match being the highlight, even if it was just thrown out on television without a buildup. It will be interesting where the Angle-Jarrett winds up considering this company has to meet a lot of masters right now, particularly January 4th. Again, Angle’s program with Styles appears to be the short-term direction, but who really knows the state of things considering Hogan’s arrival in two weeks. Not to mention the lingering question over whether Hogan is truly in this for the long haul.

Jeff Hamlin
hamlin36@hotmail.com