The Big News: Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley made their returns this week. Yes, I know Foley was fired last week, but that didn’t stop him from appearing on three different segments, like he was Chris Jericho getting ousted from Raw. Four shows into the Hogan-Bischoff regime and this show is becoming more and more like a poor man’s Raw, even more so than before.

Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff came out for an interview. Bischoff wasn’t selling anything after apparently getting his head busted open by Mick Foley last week. Strong Hogan chants, so the duality of the Orlando crowd continues. Hogan called out Foley, who you’ll recall was fired last week by Bischoff. And then Foley walked right out like nothing happened. So why would Foley be there backstage when he was fired last week? This was straight from the early days of Nitro, or any other day for that matter. Hogan said he wanted the situation between Bischoff and Foley settled. Bischoff said he already settled it by firing Foley. Hogan basically overruled Bischoff, and said he could turn Foley “into a true asset.” Hard to tell how many knuckles used on that backhanded compliment. Bischoff tried to talk Hogan out of it, but Foley claimed he never touched Bischoff because if he had, he would have suffered more than just two stitches on his forehead. Hogan ordered Foley to work out his differences with Bischoff, or leave the company. Sort of a clumsy segment considering the interview talent involved.

Jeff Jarrett walked into the building talking with Bubba the Love Sponge. Last week, we had three full segments of Jarrett and Bubba arguing with each other. This week, they were acting all cordial. They were going to talk with Hogan, and Bubba was worried while Jarrett tried to clam him down. Why would they be hanging out together? 

Mr. Ken Anderson was backstage with Christy Hemme. Anderson played off like they were old friends from the WWE. By the time Anderson was called up to the main roster in the WWE in August 2005, Hemme was there for a whopping four months before she was released. Anderson didn’t have a match tonight, so he issued an open challenge.

Mike Tenay and Taz announced the latest tournament to crown a #1 contender. Keep in mind, Bobby Lashley and Samoa Joe have already won either a tournament or a match to become a #1 contender over the past three months, and neither one has received a title shot yet? So why should anyone care about this? 15 minutes into the show, and we’re already running 2-for-3 in senseless angles. And it’s not just any tournament. It’s the Eight Card Stud tournament, with qualifying matches starting tonight. I have no idea why it’s called an Eight Card Stud tournament, aside from every Vince Russo booked tournament has to have a unique name and confusing rules.

1.      Desmond Wolfe defeated Sean Morley in a Eight Card Stud qualifying match in 3:35. Desmond Wolfe came out with his Stephanie McMahon look-a-like valet, who was given the name Chelsea. Morley does his Val Venis gimmick, complete with the towel around his waist. In WWE, they always cut away to hot girls begging for his body. In TNA, they found the trashiest women on earth in the crowd, which is par for the course in this company. It doesn’t help that Morley isn’t in ring shape and still isn’t over. This led to a pretty flat Wolfe match. Wolfe worked on Morley’s left arm and used the divorce court. Crowd wasn’t into Morley’s comeback at all. After Morley hit a half-nelson slam, he went to the top rope. But Wolfe crotched him and pinned him clean with a tower of London. A home grown company star, if Wolfe even qualifies as that, went over strong, which was the first good thing to come out of the show. *1/4

Jarrett went to meet with Hogan and Bischoff. So after he was a total heel two weeks ago, Jarrett was a total face this time. He approached Hogan and Bischoff much more diplomatically, sans attorney and wanted to start anew with the new company powers. Jarrett agreed to start at the bottom of the latter. Bischoff said since Anderson wants to wrestle tonight, he can face Jarrett. That was something Jarrett didn’t like since he hadn’t wrestled in seven months. Hogan supported the idea, and Jarrett reluctantly agreed. After Jarrett left, Hogan told Bischoff he was being somewhat harsh.

A.J. Styles was in his dressing room with a model looking at a new wardrobe. They talked about taking a 30-day vacation, which sounds like an old Tully Blanchard gimmick before his I Quit match with Magnum T.A. in 1985.

2. Hernandez defeated Daniels in 4:31 in an Eight Card Stud qualifying match in 4:31. There may not be a more underrated wrestler in the world right now than Daniels. He was great bumping for the bigger Hernandez, taking bumps from a hanging vertical suplex and a cracker jack. Daniels gained the advantage by raking the eyes. Daniels hit an STO and a quebrada for a two count. Hernandez got knocked out of the ring following a knee to the back, but made his comeback with a slingshot shoulder block. Finish came after Hernandez missed a splash from the top rope, and Daniels used a schoolboy cradle and put his feet on the ropes, but Hernandez kicked out anyway. After Daniels used some palm thrusts, Hernandez came back with the pounce period and got the pin after a dominator. Fine performance by Daniels carrying it to a good match. **1/2

Team 3-D and the Nasty Boys had an in-ring showdown. They’re now officially wrestling at Against All Odds, a PPV they did a much better job in promoting on this show. This was similar to 3-D’s program with the Steiner Brothers in 2007, and that angle was much better than this one. Part of it came from the fact that the Steiner’s were viewed as a legendary tag team, as opposed to the Nasty Boys who are just getting back into the spotlight after ten years away from the business. The fans didn’t react to Knobbs and Sags at all, and seem to view them as being there only because they’re friends with Hogan. Brother Ray carried the segment with his usual talk about all the tag titles they’ve won. Brian Knobbs started listing all the tag teams they’ve beaten, including the Hart Foundation (check), the Road Warriors (?) and Hall and Nash (certainly not in WCW. In fact, they wrestled on house shows in Hall and Nash’s first matches in the company in 1996 and played total babyfaces to the crowd when they were supposed to be heels, which really made Knobbs and Sags look dumb). Lots of screaming and Ray tried to get a 3-D chant going, which the crowd somewhat fall in line with.

The Beautiful People did an interview regarding facing Tara, Awesome Kong and Hamada tonight. Velvet Sky acted like she didn’t want anything to do with Angelina Love. Madison Rayne mentioned eventually putting the tag team titles where they belong. Lacey Von Erich thought she meant in their bellies before Rayne corrected her, so they continue the gimmick as Von Erich as the airhead. It’s worth going out of your way to listen to an interview that Von Erich did on Thursday with the “Right After Wrestling” program on Sirius Hardcore Sports Radio, which was a combination of the standard Von Erich fiction and fascinating insights on growing up the daughter of Kerry Von Erich. She talked about being four-years old and repeatedly riding with her father in the same police car after he was arrested for various drug offenses. Not to mention being a mother at the age of 23 and forbidding her son to watch wrestling.

Bobby Lashley had a meeting with Bischoff, who acted nice to him at first. Then he fired him, and had eight security guards carry him out after Lashley went after him. How many guys have been fired in storyline over the last three weeks?

3.      Velvet Sky, Madison Rayne and Lacey Von Erich defeated Tara, Hamada and Awesome Kong in 4:32. Hamada did a rope walk armdrag on Rayne, and they still can’t get that spot right as Rayne didn’t roll across correctly. Tara threw some nice right hands on Rayne and caught the jigglesault for a two count. Rayne caught a clothesline. It led to Kong getting the tag, and her only involvement was hitting a double clothesline on Von Erich and Rayne. Finish came when Hamada got tagged in and hit a moonsault on Rayne, but referee Jamie Tucker was distracted by Tara fighting with Von Erich. As Tucker escorted Tara out of the ring, Von Erich hit Hamada with the ugly stick so Rayne could get the pin. *

Postmatch, Kong chased Sky to the back while Von Erich and Rayne put the boots to Hamada. Love ran out to make the save.

Hogan met with referee Earl Hebner after last week’s Orlando screw job. Hogan great on the microphone, but his acting here was pretty bad. Hogan tried to get him to explain why he screwed Angle last week. Hebner tried to play it up like Angle really tapped out, but Hogan wasn’t buying it. Then Hogan brought up Montreal 12 years ago. Hebner finally came clean and said he was the one who truly screwed Bret, and that he screwed Angle last week for a big paycheck from Flair to help Styles. Hogan suspended him indefinitely and told him to leave.

Flair was talking with Styles when four women walked in. Flair looked in awe and ordered one to sit down with him.

Bubba and Foley talked backstage. Foley said he and Bischoff would reach an understanding tonight, and if not he was still going to be fine. Not exactly building suspense for Foley potentially losing his job.

Angle came out for an interview, saying his match with Styles at Genesis was the best match of his career. Talk about something that no one brought. Great match, yes. But no one in their right mind could possibly put it ahead of Angle-Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania XXI, and that wasn’t lost even on the Orlando crowd. Angle said when Styles joined up with Flair, he let down the boys in the back, Angle himself and the fans. He went from someone everyone looked up to into a punk ass bitch. Angle said that Flair was using Styles to strip him of his innocence. Angle announced he had a qualifying match in the Eight Card Stud tournament, and would face Styles once he wins it. Hogan came out and said Angle had showed up in his office a few minutes ago. Too bad the announcers never acknowledged any of this. The quality control of this company isn’t getting any better. Hogan said Angle spitting in his face last week was unacceptable, and he would fire Angle if he did it again. Crowd booed that. Angle apologized, but said Hogan was now in charge of TNA so he’s in charge of everything that happens in the ring. They shook hands and Hogan left. Then Sean Waltman and Scott Hall jumped Angle from behind and put the boots to him. Hall looked out of breath just delivering stomps.

Security forced Hall and Waltman to leave, but they vowed to be back next week.

4. The Motor City Machine Guns and Brian Kendrick defeated Generation Me and Amazing Red in 2:36. How about that time management? Von Erich gets significant ring time in a match that goes 4:32 and this one barely gets half that. Brian Kendrick’s music sounds like a string orchestra. He jumped Amazing Red before the bell to continue their program. Kendrick acted like he didn’t like Alex Shelley or Chris Sabin either, even though they were partners. Shelley got a blind tag, and they were off to the races with hot double team moves with Generation Me. Sabin blocked the code red by red, and Shelley gave him a superkick from a wheelbarrow position. The guns gave Red the Thunder Express. Then Kendrick got a blind tag and pinned Red after the Randy Orton kick to the head. Shelley and Sabin didn’t look happy with Kendrick. *1/4

Postmatch, the British Invasion came out and put the boots to Red. Generation Me vanished. They teased that Rob Terry was going to cash in his X Division briefcase while Red was prone. Then it appeared Brutus Magnus wanted Terry to hand the briefcase over to Doug Williams. This was so awful. While the three were arguing, they cut to a commercial. Then, after the break, they cut right to the middle of a match, where Red had miraculously recovered and was wrestling Williams. So they skipped over parts B and C and a great deal of D to get in a commercial. Like there weren’t 100 other things that couldn’t be cut from this show to make more room for this angle. 

5.      Doug Williams defeated Amazing Red to win the TNA X Division title in :26. Red hit his flying downward spiral off the second rope for a near fall. Then Williams caught the chaos theory for the pin. Terry looked very unhappy outside the ring while Magnus and Williams celebrated. ¼*

Foley and Bischoff had their meeting. Foley thought Bischoff had paid someone to open himself up last week. Bischoff wouldn’t admit it. Foley told him about his son taking a dump at a Chuck E. Cheese in a tunnel a few years ago, and said one brave man had to clean up that mess. Foley said he would rather be that man cleaning up that mess than work for Bischoff. In response, Bischoff said he had Abyss and Jeremy Borash’s careers in the palm of his hands, then left that for Mick to think about. Bischoff left Foley in his office, then walked into Styles’ room, where Styles and Flair were showing a group of ladies how to strut. Styles was a little better this week. Bischoff said he was stuck with Flair because Flair got his agreement done before Hogan got in charge. Seeing Bischoff and Flair talk about contracts and legalities in 2010 was quite surreal. Flair said Bischoff had never called him smart before. Now all that’s left is Bischoff calling Flair someone who puts asses in the seats. Bischoff announced that Styles would have to rethink his 30 day vacation and would be wrestling at Against All Odds.

6.      Mr. Ken Anderson defeated Jeff Jarrett in 7:01. Jarrett came out as a total babyface. To play up the gimmick that Jarrett was truly starting from the bottom, he came out without his music or entrance pyro. Taz told the story that Bischoff had ordered the music pulled. Lots of stalling early but it worked because the crowd was really hot. Jarrett hit his dropkick and clotheslined Anderson over the top rope. Following a commercial, Anderson rammed Jarrett into the post while standing on the apron. Anderson worked on Jarrett’s left arm, including giving him a divorce court and half the speed of Wolfe’s delivery. Anderson used a top wrist lock as a rest hold, but missed a somersault senton off the top rope. Jarrett made his comeback by blocking an attempt at the mic check and teased the stroke, but Anderson kicked him low and pinned him off that. Bischoff was shown watching the finish and smiling over seeing Jarrett lose. *1/2

Postmatch, Anderson jumped Jarrett outside the ring, then laid him out in the ring with the mic check and announced his name as the winner of the match. Bischoff murmured in his office that Jarrett would face a long, hard climb to the top.

SUMMARY: It’s amazing that some thought the Hogan-Bischoff regime would make the booking more organized. If anything, it’s more disorganized. While the recent Impact shows haven’t been as full of clutter, they’ve also basically become similar to WWE, where the owner changes his mind and things don’t make sense from week-to-week. Jarrett was a heel two weeks ago. He was the top babyface in the company this week. Within two weeks, there will be three number one contenders for the TNA title, though I guess you can now say Lashley has been eliminated since he’s supposedly fired. But this program wasn’t set up well at all from a booking or layout standpoint. The X Division title change was a total cluster. No excuse to have the X Divison trios match go two minutes. And why have Love as a babyface when she’s much better as a heel. With only five weeks to go before a move to Mondays, there appears to be more confusion than ever.

Jeff Hamlin
hamlin37@hotmail.com